Pre-Marriage Contracts: Not Just for the Rich and Famous Anymore

Pre-marriage contracts, often called prenuptial agreements or “prenups,” get a bad rap. Many people think they are only for super-rich people or celebrities, a sign that you don’t trust your partner, or that you’re planning for divorce before you even get married.[ But what if I told you that the pre-marriage contract could be one of the most loving and practical things you do for your relationship? This guide will show you how these agreements really work and how they can help build a strong and honest foundation for your life together.

How Do Pre-Marriage Contracts Work?

At its heart, the pre-marriage contract is a written agreement that two people sign before they get married. It’s a document that lets a couple decide for themselves how their money and property will be handled during the marriage and what will happen if they ever get divorced or one of them passes away. Think of it like creating your rulebook for your finances, instead of just using the standard rules that the state has.

What’s Inside a Pre-Marriage Contract?

A prenup can be customised to fit a couple’s specific needs, but they usually include a few key things:

A List of What You Own and Owe:

The first step is usually to list out all the assets (like property, savings, and investments) and debts (like student loans or credit card bills) that each person is bringing into the marriage.

Keeping Things Separate:

A prenup can make it clear that certain assets will stay the separate property of one person, even after you’re married. This is really common for things like a family business or an inheritance.

Deciding What’s “Ours”:

The contract can also spell out what will be considered marital or community property, the stuff you acquire together during the marriage, and how it should be divided if you split up.

Dealing with Debts:

It can also protect you from being responsible for your partner’s debts that they had before you got married.

Spousal Support:

Couples can also agree ahead of time on whether there will be alimony (also called spousal support) and how much it might be.

The Importance of Pre-Marriage Contracts for Today’s Couples

Marriage has changed a lot since the 60s, for example. People are marrying later in life, often with more of their own money, property, and potentially debt. Second marriages and blended families are also much more common. The times have changed, and pre-marriage contracts are now more timely and essential than ever.

One of the most beneficial things that I think isn’t commonly put forward is that simply being in the pre-marriage contract process can enhance a relationship. Simply going through the process can stimulate very frank and flexible conversations regarding money, which can be challenging for many couples. Getting everything “on the table,” I find, can build lots of trust and avoid misunderstandings later on. It’s like you’re building your foundation for the house; you want it to be sold, and free of weakness.

Speaking from personal experience, and that of a family lawyer, it was such a positive experience to have to go through the pre-nup process with my husband. We needed to have some tough conversations that brought out fears and anxiety, but also got us to understand each other better. We had a lot to talk about and came out of it as a team.

Benefits of Pre-Marriage Contracts

Why are pre-marriage contracts becoming so popular? A 2023 Harris Poll found that 50% of U.S. adults support prenups, with 41% of Gen Z and 47% of millennials who are married or engaged having one.

Why You Should Consider a Pre-Marriage Contract

Who should think about getting a prenup? Honestly, almost any couple can benefit, not just the wealthy. Here are a few situations where it can be a really smart move:

One of You Has a Business:

If one of you is a business owner, a prenup can protect that business from being divided up in a divorce.

There Are Kids from a Previous Relationship:

When you have children from another relationship, a prenup can make sure that your assets will go to them as you intended.

One Partner Has a Lot More Debt:

A prenup can make it clear that one partner’s pre-existing debt will remain their responsibility.

You Expect a Big Inheritance:

If one of you is expecting to inherit money or property, a prenup can help keep it as separate property.

You Just Want Peace of Mind:

Knowing that you have a clear plan in place can reduce a lot of anxiety and stress about the future, letting you focus on the romantic side of your relationship.

How to Talk to Your Partner About a Prenup

Bringing up the topic of a pre-marriage contract can feel awkward. It’s important to do it in a kind and sensitive way. Here are a few tips:

Start Early: 

Don’t wait until right before the wedding. Bringing it up early gives you both plenty of time to talk it over without feeling pressured.

Be Honest and Positive:

Explain your reasons clearly and focus on how it can protect both of you. Frame it as a way to build a stronger future together, not as a sign that you expect to fail.

Listen to Their Feelings:

Let your partner share their concerns without interrupting. It’s normal for them to have questions or feel a bit worried.

Make it a Team Effort: 

Emphasise that this is something you’ll create together to be fair to both of you. You can even suggest that you both get your lawyers to make sure your interests are protected.

Real Story

Here’s a story from my blog at promesse.UK about a couple named Mark and Lindsay. Mark had a growing business, and Lindsay was starting a new career as an artist. Lindsay admitted that at first, she thought Mark’s request for a prenup meant he doubted their relationship. But he explained that he saw it as a way of protecting everything they were building together. Their lawyer compared it to a safety net for trapeze artists. You hope you never need it, but you’re glad it’s there just in case. That idea completely changed how they viewed the process.

Key Insights: Debunking the Myths

Let’s clear up some of the most common myths about pre-marriage contracts once and for all.

Myth #1: Prenups are only for the rich.

• Truth: This is the biggest misconception. Any couple, regardless of how much money they have, can benefit from the clarity and open communication that comes from getting a prenup.

Myth #2: Prenups mean you don’t trust your partner.

• Truth: Actually, it’s the opposite. The process of creating a prenup requires a huge amount of trust and honesty. It shows you can talk about tough subjects and plan for your future as a team. Studies have even suggested that couples with prenups may have lower divorce rates.

Myth #3: A prenup is an omen that you’ll get a divorce.

• Truth: Thinking about a prenup is like having insurance. You have car insurance, but you don’t plan on getting in an accident every time you drive. A prenup is just a smart way to prepare for the “what ifs” in life.

Myth #4: Prenups are always one-sided and unfair.

• Truth: A prenup that is too one-sided or unfair can be thrown out by a court. To be legally binding, the agreement must be fair, and both people must enter into it voluntarily without being pressured.

Conclusion

Pre-marriage contracts are no longer a taboo topic reserved for the ultra-wealthy. They have become a practical and loving tool for modern couples from all walks of life. By encouraging open communication about finances, protecting individual assets and businesses, and providing a clear plan for the future, a prenup can reduce stress and strengthen the foundation of your marriage.

Instead of seeing it as a plan for failure, think of a pre-marriage contract as a blueprint for success. It’s an act of love and respect for each other, showing that you are both committed to building a secure and honest life together, no matter what comes your way.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What is a pre-marriage contract?

A pre-marriage contract, or prenuptial agreement, is an enforceable contract that a couple signs prior to their marriage. It outlines how each party’s assets, debts, and finances will be handled during the marriage and if a divorce or the death of one spouse occurs.

Are pre-marriage contracts expensive?

There is a range of costs, but in most cases, it will be a lot cheaper than a contested divorce would be down the line. You can think of it as an investment in your financial future and peace of mind.

Can we create a pre-marriage contract ourselves?

While you can find forms online, it’s highly recommended that you each have your attorney. A lawyer can make sure the agreement is fair, legally sound, and will be upheld in court.

Do pre-marriage contracts make divorce more likely?

There’s no evidence to suggest this. Some studies indicate that couples with prenups might have a lower divorce rate because the process encourages open communication about finances, which is a common source of conflict in marriage.

What can’t be included in a pre-marriage contract?

A prenup cannot legally determine issues of child custody or child support. It also cannot include requirements that are illegal or against public policy.

We’re already married. Is it too late to get a similar agreement?

No, it’s not too late! You can create a postnuptial agreement, which is very similar to a prenup but is signed after you are married.